Rev. Tim's 5-step Guide to Salvation Through Kick-ass Narcotics:
1: Obtain a bicycle. Any functional model will suffice. Just don't steal it.
2: Go outside and ride it really fast in th
e dark until you crash into something that stops your front wheel instantly.3: While soaring through the air, carefully position yourself for a facial landing.
4: Proceed to your favorite emergency room.
5: Drip blood and wince when the doctor prods at your face or sticks an implement through any orifice you didn't have prior to Step 3. (Important tip: don't raise the doctor's suspicion by actually asking for the drug, just appear to be in significant pain. Better yet, actually be in significant pain—it worked for me!)
Have fun, boys and girls! Before you know it, you're gonna be a happy pile of mush on your couch!
It has been my pleasure to ensure that your accidental, drug-seeking visit to this blog was not in vain. Please proceed to the nearest exit in an orderly, near-catatonic fashion.
5 comments:
FUNNY! i just piked up my vicoden due to a tooth ache,it doew kick butt!,i chased it with a tall cold one! i feel no pain!
see! i cain't even spell right!
he wasnt tring to be funny,thats just the way he talks.
Narcotic pain killers make me feel weird and it drives me crazy. It does help me with the pain but unless it's really bad I'd rather stay away from them.
that is how I got here
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