Fashion show

And now, a word about my underwear. I rarely wear any and, when I do, it's usually something kinky. No, wait. That wasn't me. It was Pvt. John Winger in "Stripes."

Dang, in 1981 that movie gave me a major crush on P.J. Soles. (Who's your buddy? Who's your friend?) That's one M.P. who could throw me in the brig anytime. But I digress. Again.

Anyway, a few weeks ago, Darron at Outer Sports Long Johns dropped me an e-mail and offered me a set of his company's polypro "Performance Underwear" to try out in return for a link on this blog. Now, personally, I've always thought performance underwear was the kind of stuff you get at Victoria's Secret on a good day, and someplace nice 'n' sleazy on an even better day. But considering where I live and ride all year, I was willing to be open-minded.

Besides, mountain bikers are sluts for free stuff. And, slap my ass and call me Sally, I'm a mountain biker.

So I've been ridin' around in this thoroughly non-kinky underwear, and it's good. I had to look up what they call that thing they do to their seams to make 'em comfortable and strong. Turns out, they're called "flat lock" seams.

Hey, it's long underwear, you know? But it does the job. Polypro wicks moisture, the stuff doesn't shrink and suddenly become something you have to donate to hungry people, and the reinforced seams don't fall apart when you wash your skivvies or yank them on or off your body.

Bottom line is, the stuff is good and Outer Sports reads bike blogs, so check out their site. The stuff they sent me even happens to be on sale right now, so you can save a few bucks if you need new undies.

Who knows? If you e-mail Darron maybe they'll introduce a leopard-print version.

Mmm, nah. Probably not.