Busted

I once worked with a guy who had gone through a bad spell in his life. His wife had split, he was nearly broke, and using drugs that didn’t enhance his judgment much. So despite being an educated guy who was well read and pretty intelligent (for the most part) he decided to rob a bank and then ride away on his bicycle.

Now, as much as I love bicycles, I’ve never considered them viable getaway vehicles for bank jobs. And when you’re 6-foot-8, weigh close to 300 pounds and have a face that scares small children, a 10-speed sure as hell isn’t going to improve your chances of escape. Especially when its rider is whacked out of his mind on illicit chemicals. Poor ol’ Fish didn’t get very far.

Fortunately, his contrition and the circumstances of his life were considered, so he didn’t spend too much time in the Graybar Hotel before returning to life as a productive—albeit occasionally stoned—citizen.

Why am I telling you this story? Hell, I don’t know. I just remembered it while reading about a guy named Michael Paul Hammonds, who robbed a bank in Paris, Texas, using a shitty old pickup as a getaway vehicle. A customer in the bank jumped on his bike and followed the truck long enough to get the license plate number, enabling the cops to find Hammonds and bust him a few hours later. (The story's a little more than halfway down that page.)

It’s not every day that a guy on a bike gets to be the hero.

Sadly, ol’ Stick-em-up Hammonds apparently didn’t get his life back together like Fish. When I Googled him, I found this story about shot in the knees with a 20-gauge when he approached a guy’s house while running from the police.

Capped in the knees. Damn. That’s gonna leave a mark.

Thanks for stoppin' by. Happy New Year.