Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Stupidity rules

An imaginary conversation
between two Anchorage snowplow drivers:

Fred: “Hey, uh, boss? This street’s kinda narrow.
Where you want me to shove all this snow?”

Boss: “Ah, hell. Just push over there
on that bike path.”

Fred: “But, uh, don’t it look like
Harvey already plowed the bike path?”

Boss: “Screw that. We get paid fer plowin’ the street.
Them little fairies in their funny pants
don’t wanna walk through snow, they should buy cars.”

Fred: “ Dude! This is kinda fun! Check it out, boss.
I shoved a great big ol’ pile o’ that
white shit right in their way!”

Boss: “Ya learn fast, kid.
I think ya got a future in this bidness.”


1234567890 said...

Wow... Your bike lanes get plowed?

bikegirl said...


man, if I was in charge, things'd be way different. Yep.

Anonymous said...

I was wondering about the phenomena(sp) myself on my way home tonight. In one block I went from riding on a bike path, to half of a side walk, to snow on the shoulder, to oops I'm riding the wrong way down Cst. Tried swapping sides and same thing. I like parking lots, especially in Mid-Town. Now aboot those trail groomers...1.9s were a BAD choice today.

Bujiatang said...

I can totally relate.

Kirk said...

And the funny part, our plowing has actually improved over the years and they still suck.

Anonymous said...

Wow, I am glad our bike paths and lanes don't get dumped on like that. Oh wait, we don't have any bike lanes or paths.

Seriously, maybe the city would send out the bike path crew after the road crews.

JordyB said...

I kinda agree with "Anonymous" in that it would be nice to have the side walks cleared after the roads are. It's been sad watching the sidewalks get cleared before the roads since the road snow just gets shoved over to the bike path afterworks...It took 6 days for Dowling to be cleared from this last snow fall...and Potter hasn't even been touched...)O:

Anonymous said...

I ride from Costco on DeBarr to the Anc airport. Tues morning the sidewalks were really nice at 4 a.m. by getting off time at 4 p.m. they were a mess from getting pushed over by the road crews.

Anonymous said...

This is how its done when the government is involved. A$$ backwards like everything else they.

Anonymous said...

"Them little fairies" will be in my next "Ode to Alhansen" haiku.

MELI. said...


Rentals said...

It's a deathly situation and the city needs coordinated snow removal. We have a large pedestrian population, but there seems to be little method to how roads are plowed and sidewalks and lanes are cleared. I think the city should be obligated to follow street plowers with sidewalk blowers. If necessary, someone should even walk along with a shovel -- pay someone $10 or $15 an hour -- to clear those areas that the snowblower can't reach. For example, street lights along Old Seward create a barrier on the sidewalk that requires shoveling. It's an issue of manpower and equipment, ultimately, but it's also a matter of life and death, and the city should do what it takes to get the job done right.

Anonymous said...

Where exactly do you propose they put all this snow????

If you have a link into the "Snow Gods" maybe you could get them to let it snow anywhere but the streets, sidewalks, parking lots, bike paths and driveways.

The people who plow aren't out to get anyone. They are doing their jobs with what resources they have.

You would all be so much angrier if the main roads weren't plowed and you couldn't get to work or the store or the hospital in an emergency or have an ambulance or firetruck come if you need them.

I am a winter widow so that the streets can get plowed.

Tim said...

Anonymous, I'm angry because this kind of crap is exactly what makes it hard for me to get to work and the store. That's sort of the point, here. Not everyone travels by car, and the municipality needs to recognize the need to accommodate alternative forms of transportation.

I'm sick of the common mindset that only cars need to be considered, and that it's OK to bury bike paths, bus stops and sidewalks. A little planning and common sense would make things better for everyone.

But we don't get that.

The rest of us get buried so that the people in trucks and SUVs won't have to drive in four inches of snow.

Anonymous said...

i saw the snow hauling trucks going down the new c st. addition yesterday. they were going west on dimond then turning south on c st. and as they were going the huge snow hunks were falling off the sides of the trucks, hitting the ground and rolling were you have them pictured. how would you like ones of those hitting your hood or rolling up on you while your riding. if one of these hit someone while they were driving, or landed in the middle of the road there would be a stink about that! no, it's just us bikers. why would anyone want to ride after a fresh snow anyway, commute to work, be healthier, feel better, be more productive, have more energy. maybe we should start wearing body armor in the winter, then we would look like freaks, oh wait, we already do depending on who you ask.
george jetson

i'm outta here, going to the philippines for a month, hope to start riding again when i return.

Grill Meister said...

One of the worst offenders are the People Mover maintenance crews. I've watched do it a number of times. They clear out the bus stop areas with a front end loader. They just dump what's been scooped up right onto the multi-use path. After bad storms I've seens People Mover piles 6 foot high in the middle of the trail.

Grill Meister

Groover said...

Are you sure this dialogue is imaginary? It's funny and sad.

Kirk said...

I cut through the parking lots at West and Romig last night. I can't help thinking that the school districts been around in one form or another for almost a century and their supposed to be about learning and education, right? Then how come in that almost a century they haven't learned how to maintain parking lots. Same with the rest of the city c'mon stop making excuses for decades of ineptness it's not like snow is a new thing

Anonymous said...

what?? you can't bunnyhop over those superchunks? :P

TJ Sullivan said...

LOL ... fairies in their funny pants ... LOL