Monday, December 08, 2008

Time for a break


Be it hereby resolved that the individual who designed slotted chainring nuts, and is therefore to be held responsible for the existence of the accompanying shitty chainring nut tool, is to be: caned; stretched on a rack; burned at the stake; boiled in the urine of a yak; fed live to rabid ferrets; subjected to no less than 900 consecutive hours of high-volume Barry Manilow recordings; dragged through cactus; ordered to imitate live pork during a Georgia canoe trip; administered high doses of salt through open wounds; and, last but not least, sentenced to a mandatory sentence of life with slotted nuts.

That is all. Carry on about your business.

I'll be in the garage.

11 comments:

Slowpoke said...

LOL ! Gee Tim tell us how you really feel.

WheelDancer said...

I'm not sure why you are going so light on them, I don't like them as much as you seem to...

Anthony said...

Amen brother! May he rot in hell and eat week old pie.

Jeff Moser said...

I thought this was funny until you mentioned Barry Manilow. That's just crossing the line, and frankly, not very funny. I'm pretty certain being subjected to Barry Manilow recordings would be against the Geneva Conventions, and would be considered torture by most civilized societies. I hope that you will repudiate your statements.

Tim said...

You're a soft-on-bad-design liberal, Moser!

Geneva Conventions? Where the hell of you been? We're Americans, dammit! We do whatever we want! Unleash the Manilow!

"Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl

"With yellow feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there ..."

Jeff Moser said...

I was cruising iTunes the other day and saw a Manilow album of him singing other's hits from the 80's, including Cindy Lauper's hit "Time After Time". Awful. Just Awful.

Anonymous said...

complicated mechanism I see. try righty tighty...lefty loosey

leonard

Bujiatang said...

put a hex on them I say

bikegirl said...

to follow up, glad the drill worked... so how's it going together?

Aidan said...

RRR! I couldn't agree more. Useless things cost me an entire day of trying to bodge a working bike by stealing bits off half-working bikes and I still had to take a drill to the little git in the end.

Get some of these: http://www.chainreactioncycles.com/Models.aspx?ModelID=2184

Tim said...

Bikegirl, the Stealth Project is on hold until the weekend. Haven't had a chance to get back into the work.