Collared

I voiced my protest to the people at Thomson Components today. They are engaging in behavior up with which I do not wish to put.

I started using Thomson seatposts years ago at the urging of two nephews who were then bike-shop workers. I was tired of feeling kicked in the gonads every time an inferior seatpost clamp or bolt broke, launching the horn of my saddle toward a high-velocity docking with the space capsule of my crotch.

You can spend all the money you want on ergonomic saddles to keep your goodies happy and nocturnally functional, but there’s nothing ergonomic about a bundle of foam, plastic and metal being fired like a missile at your junk. And it only adds insult to injury when you have to ride several miles back to the trailhead while standing up because your saddle is in your Camelbak.

My nephews promised I wouldn’t be able to break anything on a Thomson, so I became a convert. And they were right. Every post I own has been bombproof. So when I built up my new Fatback, Greg over at Speedway persuaded me to go for a matching Thomson stem. Pure sweetness. Those components are light, pretty, and strong as hell.

And now I find out those bastards at Thomson are making seatpost collars. They even just built a quick-release prototype to complement last year’s bolt-on model.

I’m still selling pints of blood for money to send to the credit card company, and now I find out my Thomson cockpit needs one more piece to satisfy my lust.

FML.