Tell me June, how does it make you feel when Ward says he's angry with the Beaver?

Gnarly, rocky singletrack. A lounge singer performing Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit." Wheelies. A need for broadband. Endangered singletrack access. You have now entered the Bicycles and Icicles free-association therapy session.

Naaaaaah, I was just screwin' with ya. To find out how these things all fit together, take a gander over here and download Pete Fagerlin's new "Grouse Ridge" video. Then download a bunch of others from places you've been — or want to go — like Fruita, Moab, Napa Valley, yadda yadda yadda.

They're fun as hell, especially in the dead of winter when the trails are buried under snow. My brother and I each downloaded so many of Fagerlin's videos last winter that when we met in May for a week of riding in Fruita, we came off Joe's Ridge one day and approached a fork in the trail where my brother yelled, "Left! Take a left." I asked how he knew the turn. Easy, he said, "I remember that rock from the video." OK, maybe we need professional help after all.

Hey, I might have my nerd moments (and more senior moments all the time) but at least I haven't gone far enough around the bend to mount a GPS on my handlebar. If you're into that sort of thing, you'll be glad to know that mountain bike-specific units are just around the corner. That's OK, put your head on my shoulder. Don't be embarrassed. Let it out. Tears of joy are nothing to be ashamed of ... you geek.

But please remember, all the high-zoot toys in the world won't help you score if you don't maintain good personal hygiene. Sometimes challenging for a mountain biker, but mandatory, nonetheless.

Thanks for droppin' in. Now move up front and take a pull.