White trash

There's just no gettin' around it. I'm being inundated with Christmas-themed stuff everywhere I look. Let's get on with 2006 already. We have a few more days of this holiday stuff to endure, though, so we might as well make the best of it. Besides, some of this crap is actually worth sharing.

George the Bike Riding Donut Guy posted this link to "White Trash Christmas," and I promise that if you watch it, you won't have to hear anyone singing that stupid song about a reindeer running over grandma. I thought the video was so funny, I didn't even mind that it made fun of my man Willie.

Meanwhile, some of the listers on the Icebike Mailing List have composed a song for winter cyclists, sung to the tune of "Winter Wonderland"

"Chain links ring, are you listening?
On my back snow is glistening.
A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight
Biking in a winter wonderland.

"In the lane my studded tires chatter
It's so quiet nothing else can matter.
A beautiful sound,
From my wheels on the ground
Biking in a winter wonderland.

"In the basement we can build a beater.
Add disc brakes and Nokians to go.
Doubters sneer that we will need a heater,
But we'll be fine in fleece and polypro - ho, ho!

"Later on we'll conspire as we dream by the fire
To ride unafraid in the tracks that we've made
Biking in a winter wonderland."

Yeah, baby, that's classy shit right there.

Of course, a fellow Alaskan (and the man behind Wildfire Designs) offered his own little ditty on our local forum:

"Jingle balls, jingle balls
Please excuse my prose
But oh what fun it is to ride
When your private parts are froze."

Let's see an overpriced ergonomic saddle fix that.

In keeping with the white trash theme of today's post, let's all have a little sympathy for the old Amish dude who got scammed by his favorite hooker. Don't think he deserves sympathy? Just be glad he chose to go to a prostitute instead of following the example of some of his brethren.

Moving right along . . . I've had Big Bill's Big Barbarian Bike Blog bookmarked for a couple of weeks and have been meaning to mention it for my fellow Clydesdales. Looks like a lot of helpful information on heavy-duty bike bits. Fortunately, I'm at the low end of the Clydesdale scale and don't seem to break as many parts as others seem to do. That's probably due to my exceptional steering skills and natural grace on the trails. I would never (cough, cough) clunk my wheels into big rocks or accidentally fly off small, unseen drops.