Too many?

Stephen, who reads this blog in Scotland
and stays in touch via e-mail,
recently sent me this photo of his garage
and a list of the bikes in it. The pile o’ bikes reminded me
of the picture I took last spring (below)

when I had my family’s bikes stashed in the house
during my wife’s garage sale.

At the end of his e-mail, Stephen wrote,
“You can't have too many, can you?”

That started me thinking.
How many bikes is too many?

Then I came up with an answer.My solution, henceforth known as
Tim’s Universal Law of Bicycle Quantification,
is as follows: A responsible bike owner
has exceeded his/her maximum capacity
only when the number of units exceeds his/her ability
to maintain all units in working order.

Units undergoing assembly will be classified
only as parts—not actual bicycles—
until both wheels and a stem/handlebar
have been securely affixed to the frame,
at which point spouses and cohabitants
may legally move such assemblies
to the “bike” category for the purpose of debate.