I'm bad, I'm nationwide

All day yesterday, trucks dumped dirt in an empty lot across the street from my office. All day, other trucks pulled in and were loaded with the same dirt. Looks like somebody's padding a fat contract somewhere. Probably a government job. They couldn’t possibly haul the dirt directly from point A to point B. That would be too efficient.

Some government drone must have believed it when the fat guy with the pinky ring told him no, no, kid, this job will require twice as many trucks and twice as many union-wage drivers. Or maybe it was the bribe that sealed the deal. A few construction company execs will probably be buying vacation homes with this year’s bonus.

Big thanks to the Drunk Cyclist (NSFW) for an unsolicited link on his Tuesday night post. A shitload of cyclists from all over North America and quite a few other parts of the world have been checking out this humble little blog ever since. We be gettin' so many hits it’s like we wuz gettin’ props on MTV or sump’n. Who’s the man? Big Jonny, that’s who.

Links? Did somebody mention links? Let’s see what I can dredge up today.

Today’s photo is from the gallery at a mountain bike site in the UK. Haven’t checked it out thoroughly yet, but I managed to take a quick look around and plan to go back for more. Don’t know where the photo was taken, but who cares? Bikes and snow. It’s a beautiful thing. Not as beautiful as bikes and firm, dry dirt, but we’ll take what we can get.

If you’re a cross-country skier in Anchorage well, what can I say? It sucks to be you. This is what you get for wasting your summer poling around town on roller skis when you should have been mountain biking. The lack of snow might make you miserable, but this fast, icy stuff is perfect for riding on studs to train for this year’s Susitna 100. Go right ahead. Come race day, I’ll stay home and keep my toes warm with red wine and a crackling fire, thanks.

If you’re going to be riding out across the frozen wastes, you might want to check out the “bike toasties” from Apocalypse Design in Fairbanks. I could use a pair of those suckers for the morning commute on those single-digit days.

Late-breaking news: Bike-riding circus bear pedals back to his natural habitat.

Please remember that the terrorist threat level is “Elevated,” which means those TSA chimps at the airport will still want to frisk your 2-year-old and inspect your shoes while your Glock slips through undetected in your backpack. If you don’t have a pistol, arm yourself with office supplies. Never forget: Your office receptionist might hate freedom. You must be ready to take her down.

It’s for the good of America.