Saturday, November 12, 2005

Suddenly, I'm hungry for a Ding Dong

Thanks to my reflective IllumiNite helmet cover,
extraterrestrials can no longer scan my brain
and steal my thoughts.
Self portrait. Friday morning commute.

Friday was Veterans Day, of course. A good day for remembering guys like my father, who spent his part of WWII in the South Pacific. It was also a good day to be a mailman, a teacher or a bank teller. I, however, was one of the unfortunate stiffs who was welcome to show up at work. Actually, “welcome” might be too strong a word. It's more like they just haven’t gotten around to changing the locks. Yet.

So I got to ride to work on an inch of new, dry snow. Sweet. It was like riding on a sheet of velvet. If all goes well, I’ll slip out on Saturday for a little trail ride. It’s great weather for cruising on the smooth, flowing trails that aren’t likely to launch my sorry ass into the trees while I ride my rigid winter bike with platform pedals. On the other hand, maybe I need some time clipped in on the trainer to make sure I don't forget how to spin.

Still enjoying some extra visits from Big Jonny's link, but the spike has tapered off. It appears that a fair number of people who found their way to this blog decided to keep coming back, because the numbers are still higher than before. Hey, maybe this could become a pay site! I could charge $20 per month and ...

Oh, wait. I don’t post porn. Damn it. I guess I’ll have to keep thinking this stupid shit up for free. Come to think of it, I don’t even think up that much. Maybe that’s why I provide so many links.

Here’s a cool handlebar that looks good for a commuter bike. I know an Anchorage rider who uses one and loves it. Considering the cost, it better be damn good.

Ever been stung by a bee while on a ride? One of those little buggers got my daughter on the throat last year after getting stuck under her chin strap. If you've ever been zapped, you might enjoy seeing a bunch of them sufferin’ an ass whuppin. Or maybe you'll enjoy it just because you’re a sicko with a hornet fetish. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

By the way, if you do get off on the hornet thing, it counts as porn and you owe me 20 bucks.

Anybody who thinks pro bike racing is all about Nike contracts and rock-star girlfriends should read about this guy. Paying your dues. Suffering. Scraping by just to hope you’ll make a European team and live with a one-in-four chance of logging hospital time each year. That’s what it’s like for most guys. On the bright side, if you make it you’ll get all the free EPO you can handle. Who says hard work doesn’t pay?

I heard yesterday that the FAA is preparing to restrict Anchorage air space because the Moron in Chief will be passing through town on Monday. Must be heading to Asia to embarrass us in front of a new crowd. Air Force One sometimes stops hear to fill up, have the oil checked, buy a package of Ding Dongs and use our bathroom.

I wonder if there will be enough sunlight for the bastard to see me as I moon his jet while it’s on final approach to Elmendorf Air Force Base.


Jill said...

Hey! I just ran into your site. I'm an Alaska cyclist myself - just trying to pedal into my first winter up here. Good to see there's others out there as crazy as me. So... what do you recommend for studded tires? Thanks! — Jill

George said...

I liked the bee video. I got stung last summer on my road bike while I was going 45 mph down a steep descent.

Kinda sucked-I watched the bee land on my leg and sting me. I figured that if I tried to swat it, I'd crash and road rash sucks more then a bee sting.

Tim said...

Jill, good for you. Riding through your first winter up here ain't half bad. I did the same back in '96 but I rode on homemade studs -- cheap knobbies and panhead screws. I later moved to manufactured studs by Innova (which I misidentified in an earlier post as Schwalbe tires) and they were another big disappointment.

My advice? Nokians. I finally invested in a pair last winter and they are FAR superior to anything else I've seen. I see from your profile that you're down in Homer, so I'm not sure who sells them down there.

If you have any trouble finding a pair, feel free to get in touch with me at I'll help you get a pair from Anchorage if necessary. You've gotta have 'em.

Anonymous said...

Just curious, do you have something against the military in general or just the retard that's in charge of it all?

Cycling Soldier

Tim said...

I assure you it is most definitely the latter. Of all the deeply offensive things George W. Bush has done, the most appalling is to have sent American troops into an unjustified war in Iraq based on lies. (Meanwhile, the war we should be fighting remains almost forgotten in Afghanistan, and Osama bin Laden is still untouched.)

Just as egregious is the fact he sent guys like you over there undermanned and ill-equipped. Shortage of body armor? Shortage of vehicle armor? Inexcusible. It was sheer incompentence and lack of care and respect for the soldiers of whom he's supposed to be in charge.

It's criminal. As an American soldier, if you step off a plane in a danger zone, you should be wearing and carrying the best equipment ever made.

I could run on and on about this, but I'll restrain myself. But I promise you, Cycling Soldier, that I am NOT anti-military. As a matter of fact, my 17-year-old, gung-ho JROTC cadet son plans to make sure that one day soon, I'll be the father of an Army MP. One of his best friends just completed BCT and AIT and left to join his armored unit. He was in our house two hours before he went to the airport, and I was proud and scared to see him go.

Every day I see cars covered with magnets and stickers saying, "Support Our Troops." The best way to do that is to demand they have a competent leader who won't throw their lives away.

I hope that answers your question.

gwadzilla said...

read this article.....

you may be upset to learn that your helmet cover may have the reverse effect

Tim said...

You had me worred there for a minute, Gwadzilla. Fortunately, the MIT study involved aluminum shields. My space-age polymer helmet shield is far more high-tech. Who knows? It might even be bullet-proof. I need to test that next weekend.

Anonymous said...

Good to hear that. I guess he's not the first boss I had that I didn't really care for. Good luck to your son and tell him to go Air Force!!

I really enjoy the blog and some of the others you have linked. Keep up the good work! I'll hopefully see you out on the trails.

Cycling Soldier