Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Just call me Dr. Tim

I recently went out for breakfast and sat at a table near two women in their 50s. One did most of the talking as she described her recent vacation to Italy, and another trip to some sort of retreat that specializes in helping people get in touch with their "inner children."

It was one of those conversations that is very annoying to overhear. Annoying because you can't avoid overhearing it, and annoying because you have to bite your tongue to avoid butting into call someone a dumbass.

This woman kept talking happily about how she and someone else let their inner children "play together." And she described a session in which the retreat participants sat in a treehouse and read children's stories to one another.

Look, I'm a pretty liberal and tolerant guy when it comes to other people's thrills. As long as everyone's a willing participant, no minors (or other species) are involved and nobody's getting hurt, I don't really care what you're into. But if you're 50 years old and sitting in a treehouse reading "Winnie the Pooh" to a bunch of other adults, I'm sorry, you need a kick in the ass.

Stay away from the self-help section of the bookstore. Forget weirdo seminars and charlatan gurus.

Get on a bike and coast down a hill with a huge smile on your face. Ride through a big puddle without caring how dirty your clothes get. Crank up some good speed and lock up the rear brake for a long skid.

Hell, go sky-diving. Or surfing. Go to the pool and do a cannon ball. Borrow the neighbor kid's skateboard and take a few turns down the hill at the end of the street. Whatever blows your dress up, just do it.

Have some real fun, not the kind that some crystal-wearing wingnut tells you to have after you write him a check

See how it works out. If it makes you feel better, we can pretend this is some revolutionary form of therapy. I'll set up a PayPal button and you can send me some money.


DeeJay said...

Awww man...I just signed up for that class too. Damn! Guess I'll ask for a refund and put my old clothes on before heading out on my ride tomorrow. ;)

Jill said...

I agree wholeheartedly ... laughed through the whole post ... although there are many out there who would argue that cycling is just another way to get in touch with your inner child.

Adam said...

Tim, Now I'm not only hooked on your blog but I'm evolving to a commentator!! I think you are onto something regarding going out and actually doing stuff. We live in AK and get to enjoy biking and "play" as adults. Folks like this lady probably don't allow themselves "playtime" as adults (biking, hiking, lawnmower racing, shotgun bowling, etc) so they end up in pillow forts wearing big boy footie pajamas reading "Go Dogs Go". There is nothing wrong with playing. In fact, its insulting to us "adult players" to argue that the only way to embrace that wonder we all felt as children is to get into this inner child crap. When you are a child you should play as a child, but once you get all growed up its time to put away childish things and play as an adult.

fatguyonalittlebike said...

Sounds like this lady has too much time and money on her hands. She does need a kick in the ass.

Of course, she would probably never think of getting on a bike to "get in touch with her inner child". It's not classy enough for her.