Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Zzzzzzzzzzzz

Last time I was in Moab's Rim Cyclery they were selling a bumper sticker printed with a knobby tire track and the words “Your sport sucks.”

Those words always mean more at the beginning of baseball season. I often have at least two or three co-workers who show up wearing team jackets or shirts, and they hunker down in their offices all afternoon with radios tuned into games.

Opening day of baseball season? It’s the opening day for a season of boring office conversations about the previous day’s game. I’ve got news for ya: Yesterday’s game was the same as today’s. And tomorrow’s. And next week’s.

I’ve watched baseball. I’ve also watched paint dry. I’ll take the paint.

Where does a bicyclist get off calling baseball dull? Hey, I don’t pretend that bike racing is a fun sport to watch. Riding a bike is great. Watching somebody else ride is dull, especially if it’s mountain bike racing. Even road races are pretty tedious until there’s a great attack in the mountains or a sprint finish. Big crashes count too, of course.

I’m not a good spectator. I rarely watch any sport. But when I do, it has to be faster-paced than baseball. I mean, this is a game that consists mainly of people failing to hit the ball. Hell, games often go into extra innings because nobody scored in the first nine. And people waste perfectly good summer afternoons on this. Afternoons they could spend riding trails.

A baseball game is 10 minutes of action packed into three hours.

Sorry, baseball fans. Your sport sucks.

6 comments:

ethan said...

I laughed so much while reading your post. I completely agree. Everybody here, even the new guy, all they talk about is baseball. They sit and WATCH, and talk. And I silently think about the last time I rode my bike, and smile. (As I write this... ha hah a)

gwadzilla said...

power to the people
I was wondering some similar stuff as I glanced at the SPORTS pages in the Washington Post because it was there as I sat to .... well... no need to say what

another question...

why is Golf in the Sports section?

gwadzilla said...

oh
at parties you will hear someone talk...

what are your interests?

I am into sports

oh... what are you into

the conversation continues
as it turns out they are into watching television

I am into watching television as well
but just because I am into the Sopranos does not mean that I am into whacking people

Anonymous said...

as a once-and-future alaskan (sitka, homer, fairbanks, juneau), a writer, editor and biker, i was a big fan of your blog -- until this post. why'd you have to trash talk another sport?

i bike. i play baseball and softball. i watch baseball and follow it closely. i watch a game almost every day -- often while riding a bike on a fluid trainer. then i get out and ride when the game's over.

the world is plenty big for everything in it.

Tim said...

Hey, anonymous, no offense intended. This post was somewhat tongue-in-cheek, but I stand by my assertion that baseball is dull as hell to me personally. Some people get off on it, the rest of us don't.

I agree, though, that the world is big enough for all the sports -- and opinions -- in it.

Anonymous said...

tim

no offense taken. i'm just sore from all the darned rejections i've gotten from you in the past at your magazine.