Soggy, probably

Somewhere between the happy delirium that followed the Fireweed race, and the hazy fog that accompanied drinks a week later, I agreed to join the Sloppy Top Tubes in the first-ever relay division of the Soggy Bottom 100.

My friend Carlos has been organizing this ride for years, and the event web site describes it this way: "This group / tour outing is limited to well-conditioned bike riders who have the fitness, riding and backcountry skills to ride at least 12 continuous hours in sunshine or absolutely horrid conditions."

Absolutely horrid conditions. Should this guy work in marketing, or what?

For years, I swore I'd never get involved in this thing unless there was the option of a team relay. That's because I thought there'd never be a team relay.

The leg I’m likely to ride is about 45 miles long. (Ignore what the web site says about the race being 100 miles—that's just part of Carlos' diabolical scheme to lure people into his trap. It's longer. About 110 miles, as I estimate it.) That's a lot of mountain biking in one day, even if the weather's good.

If it's wet and cold, it could be a shit sandwich.

Either way, the forecast calls for pain.