Bloody cool accessory

The morning mail at work occasionally brings free samples of silly products from companies hoping for some free publicity. This is how I ended up with a talking George W. Bush doll that I’m saving for a Zozobra-style burning to celebrate the End of a National Nightmare next January.

Last week, I received a package of blood-coagulating bandages* that I’m going to put in the first-aid kit I carry on long, all-day rides in the mountains.

If any of my riding partners get hurt this summer, all they need to do is yell, “MEDIC!” and I’ll run to their aid, valiantly throw myself to the ground beside them, and stuff bandages into their wounds after ripping open the packages with my teeth.

But they have to yell, “MEDIC!” if they want one of my little blood-stopping wonders. Because if they don’t play along, I’m going to get all huffy, ride over their shins, and head on down the trail.

*According to the manufacturer's web site, they're approved for sport, veterinary and ob/gyn use, so I should be covered no matter who I’m riding with!