Already plagued by doping allegations at this year's Tour de France, the cycling world was dealt another disheartening blow this weekend when a cheating scandal erupted in Anchorage.
Exclusive photographs released to Bicycles & Icicles revealed that "Skeeter" Huber (shown at right in this picture) used illegal tactics late Saturday night during an unsanctioned race to finish off a watered-down and rapidly warming margarita. Digital images clearly show Huber pinching his straw, thereby forcing his opponent to unknowingly ingest a larger portion of alcohol on the eve of a big ride. No decision has yet been announced regarding Huber's possible disqualification from future margarita races.
BikeMonkee Garcia, Huber's competitor in the event, was unavailable for comment Sunday. He was believed to be suffering from alcohol-related dehydration during a lengthy training ride somewhere in the Chugach National Forest on the Kenai Peninsula.
A witness to Saturday night's event, who agreed to make a public statement under the cover name "Big Karma," said he was appalled when he later reviewed his photographs and realized that Huber had cheated against a fellow rider and teammate on the up-and-coming Uranus Titans cycling team.
"I never thought I'd say this," Karma said. "But I watched Huber pinch one off. It was really disgusting. Given his usual intake of white-trash margaritas, it's hard to believe he was suddenly interested in restricting his alcohol intake. It appeared to be a malicious attempt to inflict suffering on the Monkee.
"And they had looked so cute sharing a drink with two straws like that. I don't know what I'm supposed to feel now. It's just so disappointing to see such a special moment tainted by cheating.
"I'll tell ya one thing," Karma said. "Next time I make that dude a few margaritas, he's gonna get a double dose of tequila without even knowing it. By Sunday afternoon, the men's room at iHop will be a biohazard zone."