Drinker with a biking problem

This strange series of events all started on a frozen lake. Some shady character who uses the alias "Rio" organized a race on ice. Some guy showed up in a technicolor dragon jersey and thought the whole thing was a hoot. Some other guy started showin' up dressed like a bear one week and Elmo the next. Now Dragon Boy has drafted my ass into doing another year of the 24 Hours of Kincaid, and Elmo's on the team. Allow me to introduce you to the dragon-jersey guy, a.k.a. DaveIT, founder of Team Megasorass and all-around bad influence.

Led astray by clowns like this, I actually pulled Scott, a teammate from the 2004 race, into the surreal nightmare. Poor dude has no idea what he's in for. The sick thing is, he'll probably like it.

Elmo boy, a.k.a. Snoop Robby Rob, has designed our team mascot (which, lucky reader, you see here) and has publicly confessed to researching sheep anatomy for race-related purposes I'm afraid to contemplate. He's a Palmeranian, which means he lives in the Mad-Zoo Valley, home of Matanuska Thunderfuck and World Capital of the Mobile Home Meth Lab. And he smiles a lot under adverse conditions, which is sort of disturbing.

And to top it all off, Dave has some Air Force job that involves AWACS jets and secret codes. So now every time I'm riding with him when he's on call and his cell phone rings, I get scared and stare at the sky until I realize he's only talking to his wife.

There's a distinct possibility that I'm gettin' too old for this shit.

I'm not gonna tell Scott until after he pays his race fee, but this thing's gettin' weird and we haven't even started yet. If it's this bad now, what will it be like in the woods at 3 a.m. with a pissed-off moose staring me down while I'm runnin' on three packets of Gu and fistful of caffeine tablets?