Sunday, August 13, 2006

Hamburglars

People are starting to post comments saying I've seemed angry lately, so I'm almost reluctant to rant about this newspaper ad.

I said almost.

This thing ran in Friday's "Play" section of the Daily News. I'm never fond of advertisers using images of mountain bikes to sell unhealthy products, but McDonald's pimping it's crappy burgers as "fuel" is a bit over the top.*

Hell, if you look closely enough, the bike that kid is riding is probably the same Magna P.O.S. I complained about a couple of days ago. I hope he got through the photo shoot with no broken bones.

I know they're not actually targeting a physically active demographic group with this stuff—they'll be happy if it lures in a bunch of chubby kids on BMX bikes—but it still rubs me the wrong way. This is one small step away from puttin' the Marlboro Man astride a mountain bike as he lights up while overlooking a scenic valley with a sweet singletrack running through it.

McDonald's is simply evil. That company will do anything for a buck. It'll use photos of people exercising one minute, and hand them toy Hummers the next.

You know why Ronald McDonald's orange hair is so big? It's to hide the devil horns just above his forehead.


* To be fair, they probably do make decent fuel if you happen to be in need a good source of flammable grease—with a couple of McDondald's cheeseburgers and a cell phone, you could probably blow a big hole in a Boeing 747 way more effectively than you could with a bottle of water and some hair gel. But you didn't hear that from me.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

It's not your anger -- it's the self-righteousness. Baseball fans, religion, Floyd Landis, McDonald's, people who don't move immediately left when you yell, drivers, inexpensive bikes. Anyone else who fails to live up to your standards?

daveIT said...

I usually try hard to avoid fast fooe, but those cheeseburgers saved my ass at the 24 Hours of Kincaid...or it could have been the magical combination cheeseburgers, beer, Cytomax and GU.

Have you seen that Supersize Me documentary? A real eye opener.

daveIT said...

FOOD

Tim said...

Yeah, there is someone else who doesn't live up to my standards: people who read this blog and feel free to accuse me of self-righteousness but hide behind "anonymous" labels.

This is a blog. That means I use it to express my opinions. I don't filter them by wondering if anyone else will like them, and I really don't care.

Have you read the top of the page?

"Rants, Ravings and Random Wanderings ...?"

I'll get back to writing about unicorns and butterflies when the mood strikes me. In the meantime, I'll continue to take shots at people who watch boring sports, cheat in the Tour de France, misuse the image of mountain biking to sell unhealthy garbage, and can't distinguish left from right.

Call me a prick if you'd like. I can take it. Just put your name on it.

daveIT said...

YOU PRICK!

- Anonomoose

daveIT said...

DRATS! I FORGOT TO LOG OUT!

Tim said...

Damn you, Dave. I'd kick your ass on our next ride ... except, uh, I'm slow.

Adam said...

Viva "Angry Tim"!!! I was just making an observation in that other post. In fact, (as you may have guessed) I like "Angry Tim". Keep up the good fight baby.

the old bag said...

It's not your anger -- it's the self-righteousness. Baseball fans, religion, Floyd Landis, McDonald's, people who don't move immediately left when you yell, drivers, inexpensive bikes. Anyone else who fails to live up to your standards?

Has Anonymous READ any other cyclist's blogs? Good humor there, Anon....

:-]