Friday, August 11, 2006

That must have hurt

Somebody abandoned this Magna Piece Of Shit in the weeds just off the intersection of Brown Bear / Black Bear trails on the Hillside several days ago.

The bike is so new it still has a bar-code sticker on the head tube. Some sucker apparently bought it (or stole it) under the assumption it was a legitimate mountain bike and then decided to hit the trail. And I bet he did exactly that when the “downhill” fork—as the manufacturer proudly labeled it—folded like a wet potato chip.

I wonder if this bike’s rider still has his or her front teeth. Then again, considering that this was the kind of person who would leave trash for someone else to clean up, I wonder if the hillbilly had any front teeth before the crash.

Maybe this thing should be hung in a bike shop with a sign that says, “Why don’t we sell bikes for $85 like Sprawl-Mart? Because ours don’t do this.”

8 comments:

Adam said...

Angry Tim! That's what I'm calling you from now on. I've noticed an angry trend here since the "on your left post". Don't get me wrong I'm down with ya brother, I just miss "Happy Tim". Give us some more posts about unicorns and butterflys and stuff.
Adam

the old bag said...

I'd call you RIGHT-ON-THE-NOSE Tim. Bicycles like this one are dangerous and people need to know! A fork taco-ing??

Criminy.

Tim said...

Shut up Adam! Yer pissin' me off!

Uh, what I mean to say was, uh ...

Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Tim said...

No kidding, TOB. And assuming that someone lazy enough to abandon their wreckage in the woods was also too lazy to move the bike any distance, it's even scarier: There's really no trail feature near the bike that should have caused such a failure even on a complete POS like a Magna.

People should see that bike before they put their kids on those things.

Anonymous said...

Adam's right. Ever since about, oh, late June, the 24 Hours Race, you've been an angry guy. Whassup?

Tim said...

Must have been that nasty crash and the whack to the head.

At least that's what I'll say at the trial.

George said...

Damn.

daveIT said...

I spotted an abandoned bike at the bottom of the I Street stairs. I hope they didn't claim another victim...