Sunday, February 26, 2006

Pucker factor

I knew we were in trouble Saturday night when I pedaled up to the staging area and Carlos told me to ride the Goose Lake course and then offer my opinion of whether we should cancel the race because of the dangerous conditions.

Halfway through the lap, I was thinking maybe an oil spill on the ice would improve traction. A couple of riders came off the lake and said, "Um, no, thanks."

Jon Kunesh nailed it when he looked at me near the registration table and said the Frigid Bits championship was gonna be a "Spenard lovefest."

Translation: Somebody's goin' down.

It was an orgy. Everybody was goin' down.

Five inches of new, dry snow on top of glare ice was a recipe for carnage. The race was shortened to options of three or five laps. By the time it was over, the snow on Goose Lake was littered with the imprints of bodies.

It was fun, in a twisted way—the kind of fun you can have only if there are other crazies present to help you laugh your way through it. And it was butt-puckerin' scary. At least it was for most of us.

Amber Stull won the whole damned thing while riding five laps yelling, "Woo-hoo!"

I have no idea what she was saying.

From the saddle of my bike, "Woo-hoo!" sounded like some foreign word for "Holy shit! We're all gonna die!"


daveIT said...

That was so much fun! I knew it was going to be a special night when I saw Jazz pull up on the Harley trike and Rob showed up in an Elmo costume!

I stopped after my third lap (because I thought the 10 milers were doing 3) but Carlos informed me that I was doing the 5 lap and that Amber (she didn't have any competition after Joe had to drop out with a flat) had just passed me. I took off after her, but I never should have stopped because my calves locked right up.

She's a fun one to chase...I caught her after she wiped out going into the hairpin section and chased her until I went ass over tea kettle on that last corner before the speed oval.

When I jumped up my calves acted up again and I could barely get my leg over the top tube!

Now, I'm just wondering if I should drink less beer the night before or properly stretch to avoid cramping up next time.

Hehe...I think we all know the answer to that one!

Tim said...

Dave, you dumbass, you're supposed to drink more beer right before the race!

Stretching? Sheesh. What kind of crap are you going to come up with next?